Don’t Act Like Prey! Be Assertive! (8)

There are, of course, costs associated with being passive.  Costs for you might be different than costs for someone else.  Costs depend upon what is important to us. 

Some possible costs include:

• ·         If you are passive with your spouse, you cannot have an equal relationship.  You are forcing your partner to make all the decisions.  This can lead to resentment from you and your spouse.
• ·         If you are passive with your children, they will run all over you!  Also, as a parent, you are the primary role model.  Do you want your children to grow up to be passive adults?
• ·         Depending upon how you were raised, it can be difficult not to be passive with your parents.  There will probably come a time, though, when you will need to be assertive and set boundaries.
• ·         If you are passive with your friends, some will take advantage of you.  Others will get frustrated and leave.
• ·         Supervisors can create a unique situation.  Some think they want passive employees!  However, if you do not speak up, it can have negative effects.  Unless you tell your supervisor that you have too much to do, for example, your supervisor either will not know and so not do anything or can pretend not to know.  Of course, you have to be professional.  We will talk more about that when we get to assertiveness.
• ·         If you are passive with employees, they will not respect you.  If you do not stand up for yourself, they know you will not stand up for them.
• ·         Customers can create a difficult situation.  Usually the best bet is to follow company policy.

If you are passive, you let others have a great deal of control and power over you.

What stories would you like to share about the costs you encountered by being passive?