Don’t Act Like Prey! Be Assertive! (7)

If you do not express your opinions, people will think that even you do not think they are worthwhile.  If you do not, why should they?  It makes it easy for people to disregard your thoughts and feelings.

People are not telepathic.  Unless we speak up and tell someone what we think, he/she will not know.  It is not other people’s responsibility to figure out what we think and feel, it is our responsibility to tell them.

We are passive when we do not communicate our thoughts and feelings to others as appropriate!  Do not confuse passive with private.  Not everything has to be shared, nor should be shared, despite what is on social media.  The deciding factor is if someone is doing or saying something that is disruptive to your life.  If so, then you need to be assertive and speak up to that person.  If it is not disruptive, then it doesn’t matter if you say something or not.

Passive is also different from waiting for the right time and place.  Someone may say or do something that you need to address.  It might be better to wait until you can discuss it privately.  If, however, the “right time” never comes, then you are probably being passive.

Also, if you complain to others, but not to the person causing you distress, that is still passive behavior.

Here is a hint to women readers.  Woman have a tendency to end sentences with an upward inflection.  This makes a statement sound like a question.  This makes us look uncertain, unsure of ourselves, and passive.  Practice ending statements with a downward inflection.  It works!  It makes us sound more confident and powerful—assertive!