Personal Leadership for Women

Before you can lead others, you must lead yourself.

I work with women in management roles to develop leadership, managerial, and interpersonal skills

so they can confidently take control of their professional and personal lives.



Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Don’t Act Like Prey! Be Assertive! (Stories, 3)


We all sometimes become aggressive and treat people with disrespect.  A key is to determine why we do this.  Is there a trend?  Is there something that triggers this behavior?  If so, then we can do something about it.

For example, when I get hungry, I get irritable.  When I start to feel myself going from assertive behavior to aggressive behavior, I try to stop and think why I am doing this.  Is it really the person that is causing it?  Is it the situation?  Or is it something else, such as hunger and a drop in blood sugar?  Usually the situation is part of the problem!  But if hunger and low blood sugar is escalating me toward aggressive behavior, is it fair to take it out on the other person?  Of course not.

In addition to being aware of this, I also try to have a plan to deal with it.  I carry snacks with me.  It helps!  It may not resolve what is going on around me, but it does help what is going on inside me.  I can then handle the situation more appropriately.

I really was not aware that other people recognized this in me.  When I found out, I was a little embarrassed! 

I had a wonderful administrative assistant in a previous position.  She would often help out on another floor, so if I couldn’t tell her I was going to lunch, I would call her and let her know.  I usually took lunch early.  One day I was really involved with things and it was going on 2:00 before I could take lunch.  I called to let her know.  Her response:  “What!  You haven’t had lunch yet?  There’s no one dead up there is there?  Do I have to clean up any blood?”

Keeping in mind that she was joking, it still made me realize that other people do recognize when we are being aggressive even if we do not.  This is worth keeping in mind!
 

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