What makes us assertive?
In some cases, for me at least, it is strong emotions.
Seventh grade was full of changes. My class of about 15 went from a rural
elementary school to the middle school in town.
From staying in the same classroom with two grades and one teacher in
the room, we went to a school where the teachers stayed in the same room and
the students moved! We were also with
students from all over the county.
It was fun and at the same time a little scary to be meeting
so many new people and making new friends.
At one point, a few girls that I was friends with said that
if I wanted to continue to be friends with another group of girls, then they
did not want to be friends with me anymore.
I do not remember the drama details as to why. It could not have been that drastic!
I do remember, though, becoming extremely angry. How dare they try to tell me who I could have
as friends! What gave them the right to
dictate to me what I could or could not do?!
In typical pre-teen fashion I told them that I didn’t want them as
friends either and stormed off. There
was only one of the girls that I ever spoke to again, and that was a few years
later.
If a similar situation happened today, I would handle it
better. I would try to determine what
the problem really was and try to resolve the issue into more of a
win-win. Considering my age at the time,
though, I am proud that I stood up and spoke out. I was assertive. I did not let them control me. And who knows how that triumph may have
positively affected me as I continued to grow?
The important thing is that we are assertive. We do not have to be great at it, at least
not at first. We just need to be the
bear!
What stories do you have about your assertiveness?
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