Personal Leadership for Women: Recommend Reading, Reviving Ophelia

There are so many great books that there is no way that we can know of them all, let alone read them all.  I have decided to blog about some that I think are especially worthwhile.

I recently finished reading Reviving Ophelia, Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls, by Mary Pipher, Ph.D.  Although the book has a copyright of 1994, it is still relevant today.  Unfortunately, I do not think things have changed that much since then.

In this book, Dr. Pipher cites examples of how toxic our society and media can be on adolescent girls.  There is too much emphasis on looks and fitting in rather than encouraging girls to grow into the person they want to be.  One story she told was of a client who described herself as being a perfectly good carrot, but everyone wanted to cut her into a rose.  And when they did, she withered.

She also talks about the violence against women and girls in our society and the negative impact this has.  This includes how women are portrayed as victims in television and movies.

For any of you that have daughters, granddaughters, nieces, or other girls in your life that you care about, I highly recommend this book.  It will help you understand what girls are going through and how you can help.  You can do much before they reach adolescence by helping them develop confidence in themselves as children.  You can help further during adolescence.

Have any of you read this book?  What did you think?  Are there other books you would recommend?

Personal Leadership for Women: Rights and Responsibilities

We all have rights.  With these rights, however, come responsibilities.

For example, we have the right to our opinion.  We have the right to voice our opinion.  Remember the Second Amendment, Freedom of Speech?  We legally have this right.  We also have a responsibility to voice our opinion while respecting others.  For example, if we state what we think of someone’s actions, that is generally better than attacking the person and calling names.  Keep in mind, too, that others have a right to voice their opinions, and to have different opinions than we do. 

We have the right to the professional life we want.  With that comes the responsibility for gaining the knowledge and skills to enter this profession or career.  We are responsible for gaining additional knowledge and skills as necessary.  If we want to be promoted, we are responsible for working to the level necessary to advance.

We have the right to the personal life we want.  We are responsible for making that happen.  If we want good relationships with people, we need to work at it.  Great relationships do not just happen.  Of course, the other person needs to take responsibility as well.  If he/she does not, maybe the relationship is not worth maintaining.  Keep in mind that something as simple as happiness is our responsibility.  It is not anyone else’s responsibility to make us happy.

If we want a house, car, land, vacation, and all the other things that money can buy, we are responsible for earning the money to purchase them.  No one else is responsible.  If we are not willing to work for it for ourselves, why should anyone else want make the sacrifices to give it to us?

When we accept responsibility for our decisions, actions, and lives then we can truly accept the rights we have.  Are you taking full advantage of your rights by taking full responsibility?

Personal Leadership for Women: There is No Reality, Only Perception

We have all heard the phrase, “There is no reality, only perception.”  The world is to each of us what we perceive it to be.  Some people perceive the world to be wonderful and others perceive it to be horrendous.  How we perceive our lives becomes our reality.  How we perceive ourselves becomes our reality.

It seems to me that when it comes to self-perception there are three types of people.

There are those who do not give themselves enough credit.  They do not think they are that good or that worthy.  They focus on their failures.  If this sounds like you, try focusing on your strengths and your talents.  You may be a much better person that you think.

There are also those who create a perception about themselves that is much better than what others have of them.  They may do this to make themselves feel good about themselves, to justify past actions, or to avoid looking too closely at who they really are.  If this might be you, consider being honest with yourself.  If there are things in your life that you want to improve, you cannot make good decisions with faulty information.

And then there are those individuals who have a pretty accurate perception of themselves.  They see their faults and work to overcome them rather than letting the faults define who they are.  They see their strengths and accomplishments and take credit for their hard work and persistence.  If this is you, congratulations!

Which type do you think you are?  Are there any changes you would like to make in your perception of yourself?

 

Personal Leadership for Women: Rip Off the Bandage

When I was a child and got hurt, Mom would clean the wound, put on antibiotic, and put a bandage on the wound. 

When the time came, I never wanted to take the bandage off.  I knew it would hurt.  So I would try to take it off slowly and carefully.  It would still hurt, a little, but it would continue to hurt for as long as it took me to take off the bandage.  I could prolong this process for a very long time.

Dad would say, “Just rip it off.  Get it over with.”  I finally tried it.  It hurt!  But it did not hurt for long.  It certainly did not hurt for as long as it did when I slowly tried to peel it off.  If there was some way to measure the acuity and length of pain for both processes, there probably was less pain with ripping it off.

In life, we will always be faced with painful situations, painful decisions.  We can take action by “ripping off the bandage.”  Or we can delay making a decision, delay taking action.  Although the first may be more painful at the moment, the total amount of pain will probably be less than delaying.

Do you have any “bandages” that you have been slowly trying to remove?  Do you have relationships that need to be addressed, or maybe ended?  Do you have a job that you need to leave?  Would it be better if you just “ripped off the bandage,” face the pain, and move on?

Personal Leadership for Women: Do You Wait for Things to Happen, or Do You Make Things Happen?

People that make things happen know what they want, they develop a plan to make it happen, implement the plan, and regularly evaluate their results.  If they are achieving the results they want, great.  If not, they reevaluate their plan, revise it as necessary, and implement the new plan.  They continuously do this.  Because of this, they make things happen.  They get what they want.

Other people may go through the motions of developing and implementing plans, but mostly they are waiting for things to happen.  They are waiting for someone else to do things for them, provide for them, care for them.  They are waiting for that perfect job or relationship to magically appear.  They are waiting for life to come to them.

People that make things happen go after life, they go after what they want.  They also take full and complete responsibility for their life.

What type of person are you?  Do you wait for things to happen?  Or do you make things happen?

I am proud to say that I am someone that makes things happen.  If you are, too, great!  If you are not, I suggest that you think about becoming someone who makes things happen.  Personal and professional life is much fuller and more satisfying when you make the life you want rather than waiting for it to magically appear.