Personal Leadership for Women: You Can Lead a Horse to Water…

We have all heard the phrase, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.”  There are two points I would like to make about this statement.

If you are the “handler,” you cannot make the horse drink.  You can lead it to water and do everything to encourage the horse to drink, but you cannot force it to do so.  In the same way, you can provide information, education, resources, assistance, and encouragement to others, but you cannot make them learn and you cannot make them change.  It has to be their decision to learn and change.   

There may come a time when you need to decide that it is just not worth trying to get someone to “drink” any more and instead spend your time and effort where it will make a difference.

Let’s look at this from another perspective.  What do you do when you are the “horse?”  If someone leads you to water, do you drink?  If someone is offering you information, education, resources, assistance, and encouragement, do you learn and change?  Or do you refuse?  If so, why?  

If you can determine the real reasons you do not want to learn and change when given the opportunity, you may discover the hurdles that are reining you in from achieving the professional and personal that success you desire.

Personal Leadership for Women: Do Things That Make You Smile

It is said that laughter is good for the soul.  I believe that.  I think there are wonderful things that happen to us when we laugh.  I think good things happen to us when we smile, too.

When we find something that makes us smile, it makes us feel better, if only for a moment or two.  That can lift our spirits and give us a new perspective on the situation we are facing.

I realized this many years ago when I was going through a very difficult time.  I happened to glance out the side window as I was driving to work and I saw a rabbit sitting by the side of the road.  It made me smile.  That was a turning point for me.  I knew then that I would survive the tough time I was facing.

There are so many little things that we can do to make us smile every day.  Pictures of those we love on our desk can make us smile.  (Of course, we have to remember to look at them throughout the day!)  I have a special ringtone on my phone for my husband.  Every time it rings it makes me smile.  I really enjoy nature, so for me just looking out the window can often make me smile just by seeing something as silly as a squirrel.  Pets can make us smile, and often make us laugh out loud.  A list of our accomplishments can make us smile when we look at it.

What makes you smile?  What can you do to set the stage for frequent smiles throughout the day?

Personal Leadership for Women: Just Do Something

There are great resources available on time management.  One common recommendation is to work on those items that will make the most impact on your life.  It can be easy to get bogged down in doing little things that are not really that important.  Yet we like to do them because they are easy, because they are quick, or we just like doing them.  In general, I agree with this advice.

There are times, though, when I just do not feel like doing anything.  Can any of you relate to that?  Sometimes I just do not have the energy or focus for a large project.  I have found that it helps just to do something, anything.  Once I start doing something, even if it’s one of those little things that will not have that big of an impact, it gets me started.  Once I get started and build a little momentum, then it becomes easier to get involved in the bigger projects that do matter.

I think something important to remember is that each of us has to find what works for us.  There is no one right way.  As long as each of us is getting the results we want, then our method is working for us. 

Personal Leadership for Women: Recommend Reading, Reviving Ophelia

There are so many great books that there is no way that we can know of them all, let alone read them all.  I have decided to blog about some that I think are especially worthwhile.

I recently finished reading Reviving Ophelia, Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls, by Mary Pipher, Ph.D.  Although the book has a copyright of 1994, it is still relevant today.  Unfortunately, I do not think things have changed that much since then.

In this book, Dr. Pipher cites examples of how toxic our society and media can be on adolescent girls.  There is too much emphasis on looks and fitting in rather than encouraging girls to grow into the person they want to be.  One story she told was of a client who described herself as being a perfectly good carrot, but everyone wanted to cut her into a rose.  And when they did, she withered.

She also talks about the violence against women and girls in our society and the negative impact this has.  This includes how women are portrayed as victims in television and movies.

For any of you that have daughters, granddaughters, nieces, or other girls in your life that you care about, I highly recommend this book.  It will help you understand what girls are going through and how you can help.  You can do much before they reach adolescence by helping them develop confidence in themselves as children.  You can help further during adolescence.

Have any of you read this book?  What did you think?  Are there other books you would recommend?